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How to Create Your Own Monster
By
Carolyn Schweitzer
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"You've created your own
monster, you know", my mother said ominously. My Rex
cat, Houdini, had just burrowed his way inside my sweater
for the third time that morning, letting out a squeal of
indignation when I tried to resist.
Houdini has separation anxiety. But in his tiny little
mind, separation means I've been out of his site for at
least two minutes. Or I've closed the bathroom door and
left him on the other side. Or he hasn't had his ears
scratched or his belly rubbed in eons (about ten minutes.)
Houdini follows me everywhere, like the most faithful of
hounds, and craves my undivided attention almost as much
as his next meal.
If all of this seems annoying, it's not nearly as bad as
when the little fellow plunks himself down in front of me
and literally tears chunks of his own hair out because I'm
not paying attention to him. With Houdini, it's always
been easier just to give in.
My husband takes all of this in stride. My mother, who
(fortunately for Houdini) only visits now and then, thinks
it's the height of absurdity.
Growing up under Mom's roof, I learned that dogs and
children should obey, and cats just mind their own
business. I adopted my mother's dog training philosophies
successfully. Cleo (a fine-looking mastiff and our
now-famous website mascot), is a perfect lady. She's a
wonderful dog with the gift of self composure and not one
to question authority. Cleo would never stoop to the kind
of antics that are Houdini's specialty. Besides, she's too
big to crawl inside my sweater.
So why does this particular pet behave like a spoiled
child? Why do I give in to him? Is it because I forgot to
have children? Mom swears that those little squealing
sounds he makes don't come from a cat. "He's
manipulating you", she tells me. "He's learned
how to sound like a baby".
Maybe I've got what I like to call "lap dog
syndrome". I'm referring how we treat smaller pets
who are easily cuddled and coddled, are highly portable,
and who look adorable wearing funny little outfits. Some
might call it "empty nest syndrome".
Consider my Grandmother Rosie and her Toy Poodle, Cocoa.
Cocoa arrived long after Rosie's children had grown up and
left home. Rosie knitted lots of little sweaters and hats
for Cocoa to keep him warm and stylish. She kept a mixture
of Coke Syrup and Pepto Bismol on hand to settle Cocoa's
nervous stomach. And dog food could never pass his lips,
so Grandma cooked fresh chicken for Cocoa every night
before sitting down to her own dinner.
We had to spell out "c-o-o-k-i-e" and
"P-e-p-t-o B-i-s-m-o-l" around the dog so he
wouldn't get over-excited. And Grandpa Henry was obsessed
with keeping Cocoa clean. This was one poodle who never
had tear stains under his eyes, and whose little
"tushy" was spotless.
Bear in mind that we're talking about the late 60's, when
treating pets like children wasn't really
"mainstream".
Today, it's commonplace. The pet industry is huge, and
much of it caters to our desire to spoil our
"children". So these days it's easier than ever
to create your own monster. Besides bending to your dog's
every whim, you can shower her with gourmet treats, dress
her to the nines, and offer her a standard of living well
above what many of the world's humans aspire to.
Today, Grandma wouldn't have to knit any sweaters herself,
and there would be plenty of remedies made expressly for
Cocoa's nervous tummy. Grandma wouldn't board her baby
when traveling. Instead, she'd hire a professional pet
sitter, or take Cocoa with her to a pet friendly hotel.
The hotel might even have a dog gift shop, with lots of
squeaky toys and delicious "c-o-o-k-i-e-s". And
Cocoa would go everywhere with Grandma in his own little
dog-sized carrying case, probably made from fine imported
leather or snakeskin.
I wonder how many owners of large breeds behave this way?
Are there other syndromes out there, like "macho dog
syndrome" (a guy thing, no doubt)?
The truth is, all pets start out small and cuddly. No one
is completely safe from creating their own monster, large
or small. So thank goodness there are enough great
resources available for anyone to become a virtual dog
training expert. (Or cat, or parrot, or horse...)
I've learned my lesson with Houdini: It's much easier to
teach your pet the rules from the start. Puppy training is
easier than dog training. And un-creating a monster is a
heck of a lot tougher than creating one!
But I'm weak. For now, it's easier just to give in. And
besides, it time to rub Houdini's belly...
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