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Even if your teenagers do not
use drugs, you still need to keep an eye on them. It is
much better to realize that things could change, and
anticipate that your teen COULD become a user.
Essentially, it is not wise to make assumptions about
topics such as drug use. Also, having been a high school
teacher afforded me the opportunity to witness peer
pressure, and how even good kids could be convinced to try
drugs - just to fit in. It is important that you play a
proactive role in ensuring that your teenagers and the
rest of your family remains drug free.
About drug use
Initially, I learned that
the signs of drug use included three basic symptoms:
- A loss of interest in
hobbies
- A change in friends
- A drop in grades
What I later discovered was
that not seeing these symptoms only provides a false sense
of security regarding teenagers and potential drug use.
The above behaviors apply more to signs of "drug
addiction," as opposed to "experimental"
drug use.
Teens who experiment with
drugs don't start out addicted so logically, they do not
show any symptoms. They generally look healthy and nothing
seems to be wrong. In fact, teens can casually use drugs
for over a year before their parents would even suspect
any drug or alcohol use.
Many teenagers who decide
to experiment with drugs start out casually, using them
with friends and then progressing towards regular use. It
is important that you look for clues pertaining to casual
drug use so that if your teen is prone, you can
proactively deal with it.
What you can do
You need to monitor your
teen's behavior and watch for signs of drug use, without
appearing to be spying. Your goal should be to prevent him
or her from feeling free to experiment with drugs or
alcohol. The best way to accomplish this is to keep
abreast of your teen's activities and friends. You will be
able to spot a problem early if you keep your eyes and
ears open, and believe that YOUR teenager is capable of
using drugs. Many parents get blind-sided by thinking that
their teen would never try drugs. Only then will you be
ready to intervene if the situation presents itself.
The following are ten ways
to monitor your teenager's behavior and watch for signs of
drug use, without appearing to be spying:
1. Hug your teen as soon as
s/he arrives home. Check for odors of possible marijuana
smoke or alcohol. Remember that cologne or chewing gum may
be used to hide the odor.
2. Teenagers under the
influence will usually go straight to their room when they
arrive home. While making eye contact, hold a brief
conversation. Check for bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and
their sense of balance.
3. Keep the lights on and
stay up until your teenager comes home.
4. Ask your teen for the
time and watch the way s/he looks at his or her watch.
5. If your teenager
unexpectedly wants to spend the night at a friend's house,
and you have concerns, say no.
6. Maintain a flexible
schedule. Be unpredictable so your teen cannot find it
easy to plan around your activities.
7. Keep abreast of what
your teen is really doing when away from home. Meet their
friends and their parents and participate in mutual
activities. This is a very effective form of networking.
8. Ask your neighbors to
discretely keep an eye on any activities that may take
place while you are not home.
9. Check to see how your
teens are doing in school. Ask their teachers if there is
any cause for concern or if your teen has been behaving
differently.
10. After you meet your
teenager's friends, always ask them to identify themselves
when they call. Get to know them. Always encourage your
teens to invite their friends over while you are home.
Remember, your goal should
be to prevent your teenager from feeling free to
experiment with drugs or alcohol. The best way to
accomplish this is to keep abreast of their activities and
friends using the above methods.
Lastly, but most important,
talk to your teenager on a regular basis about the drug
use she witnesses, and how she feels about it. Also, if
she has been approached, have her describe how she handled
the situation. Strive for honesty and ask how you can help
her to remain drug free.
2004 by V. Michael Santoro
and Jennifer S. Santoro, All Rights Reserved.
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About
The Author
V.
Michael Santoro M. Ed. coauthored,
"Realizing the Power of Love,"
How a father and teenage daughter became
best friends...and how you can too, with
his teenage daughter Jennifer S. Santoro.
Visit their Web site at http://www.dads-daughters.com
vsantoro@dads-daughters.com |
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