|
The work around a house or
apartment has got to be some of the least thanked work
ever created. Whether it is the yard work on the weekend,
plumbing as it arises, daily dishes & errand running,
we tend to overlook the assistance that our spouse and
children offer us regularly.
Part of why being at home
is so tiring for some is the simple fact that the ongoing
work of maintaining regular life is hardly regarded as
special.
We don’t forget to say
thank you for trips to Hawaii, or Prague (gift
love-language).
We sparkle with delight
after a full body massage (touch love-language).
We treasure all those times
of close one-on-one talks (quality time love-language).
But what about gifts of
service? Do we appreciate those?.................
sometimes.
When someone in your house
regularly contributes to the existence of the
household—be sure to commend them. The trick is that you
need to give back appreciation/love in a way that they
recognize it.
Find out the number 1 love
language of the family member that is contributing to your
household running smoothly. Then show them love by
speaking that language to them. For instance, lets say
your husband mows the lawn and fixes the electrical
problems around the house. He also irons, walks the dog,
changes the baby in the middle of the night, and waxes
your car by hand after every wash. Now, he is obviously
contributing love to you and the family through the
language of gifts of service.
Does that mean you are to
do service back to him so he can feel loved too?
Sometimes. In some cases being tended to or waited on will
help him feel loved and reciprocated to. However, he may
have grown up watching his dad do those things and merely
believes that is the way to show love. This may be one way
he contributes but doesn’t prove it is his love
language.
Do a study on him. Find out
what his PRIMARY love language is so that when he
contributes to the household in anyway—you will have
ideas of how to appropriately show your appreciation.
Reason I bring this up = If
you show appreciation in one of the 4 secondary love
languages that rank below your husbands primary love
language--- he may not fully feel appreciated. He may
eventually feel taken advantage of, and slowly over time
he may decrease his input in this way. So, if you want the
help to continue be sure to show your appreciation in HIS
primary language.
Example:
If “Tom” has a primary
language of touch—then hugs, kisses, and caresses would
be appropriate to say Thank You.
If “Tom” has a primary
language of gifts -- then perhaps a new golf club or video
game might be nice to say Thank You.
If “Tom” primarily
speaks the love language of words of affirmation—then be
sure to praise him during and after his service.
If “Tom” leans towards
the love language of quality time—then go someplace
alone to hang out and spend time together, or send the
kids to bed early so you can cuddle and talk.
Finally, If indeed
“Tom” primarily values love through the giving and
receiving of acts of service then find some ways for you
to contribute to his life through some acts of
service—pick up dry cleaning, wash his car, have dinner
ready get the house & kids cleaned before he gets home
etc.
As I have told several of
you…. We speak 5 unique languages.
It is not enough to just
pick one and speak it to everyone in the house.
If your son or daughter are
“touch” kids and you primarily use words of
affirmation to show love… chances are they are not
feeling ALL the love you are trying to show. A simple hug,
or touching of toes while watching a video would go much
much further for that “touch” kid.
Each person is unique. And
they develop their own world accordingly. It actually is
possible to be showing someone a HUGE amount of love—yet
they complain they are not loved at all / or at least
enough. This is a simple sad truth. The reason for it is
they register love primarily in a love language that you
are not using to give back.
So let’s fix that !!
If you are in a family or
friendship with someone that is feeling under
appreciated—take an inventory to discover their primary
love language.
Then try for 20 days to
daily show them 3 small doses of love in THEIR love
language of choice.
When it is all done after
20 days… send me an email and tell me of all the
differences that came about from your giving love in the
way they needed it.
Until next time-- all the
best,
Kate
Re-print Rights: You may
use this article in it's entirety, all that I ask is that
you contact me with an email here: ( kate@comedreamwithme.com
) to let me know. Thanks for the support!
|
About
The Author
Kate
Hufstetler is a well established business
& personal coach who has helped many
individuals like yourself to beat
"the blues" and gain control
over their lives. Her clients come from
both the United States and overseas. She
offers coaching services via email and
phone consultations at flexible timing and
financing to meet your every need. Through
personal, business, spiritual mentorship,
she could help you too! Please visit for
available packages within your range: http://www.comedreamwithme.com/start_today.html
Kate@comedreamwithme.com |
|
|
