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There is no magic solution to
getting issues surrounding child support resolved. Most
parents know that when dealing with the bureaucracy tied
to the child support system persistence, persistence,
persistence is the key that opens the door. In fact, it is
the only thing that will open any door when it comes to
getting a resolution to a problem. You cannot count on
pencil pushers, or all too patient white collar “Friend
of the Court” workers to help. They are overworked,
underpaid, wrapped in a sea of paperwork, antiquated
computer programs, and red tape that barely allows them to
move from point “A” to point “B”. So what’s a
parent to do?
1. If your relationship
even remotely appears to be on the rocks and children are
involved start collecting information on your partner.
This is advice for both men and women. Don’t fool
yourself gentlemen; you too can become a custodial parent
seeking child support from your partner. It may not be the
norm, but it is a reality. Don’t sneak around, and
don’t feel as though you are going behind someone’s
back. You have to do what is in the best interest of your
children and yourself. Begin collecting bank account
numbers, list of licenses, locations of stock/bond papers,
money markets and past work/address history. Gather as
much as you can.
2. Keep impeccable records.
Write the names, addresses, phone and fax numbers to
everyone you talk to concerning your child support case.
You must hold people accountable and this is one way to do
it. Don’t ever be afraid to ask a judge or referee,
attorney or the child support worker of your case who they
report to at the end of the day. This will send a clear
message that they will be held accountable for every word
that comes out of their mouth so it better be in your best
interest.
3. Parents who were married
at the time of conception may not have an issue filing for
a child support order and often times your divorce
attorney will cover this matter in your initial interview.
However if the parents are not married, establishing
paternity is essential if you expect to receive child
support. Paternity means fatherhood. Establishing
paternity provides the child/children with a legal father.
4. Child support equals
survival. Break-ups are never easy for the parents or the
children. It often means that the emotional and financial
standard of living for all parties will suffer. Parents
must understand that child support is paid for the well
being of the child and the parent caring for that child.
Money is a powerful tool in this society and can be used
as a weapon when it comes to child support. The duty to
pay child support and the right to visit are two different
issues. They are not connected in the law. In the eyes of
the court the child is entitled to contact with both
parents. If non-support is an issue, begin documenting the
visitation and during your next visit with the judge or
referee assigned to your case mention the fact that
support has stopped. If you don’t have an upcoming court
visit, write the judge or referee assigned to your case.
You can also inform your child support worker if you have
one assigned, but write the judge and request a hearing to
address the matter immediately.
5. There is power in the
pen, or in the keyboard, depending on how you choose to
communicate with the people associated with your child
support case. Always, always leave a paper trail. If you
send a letter, ask the postal worker to give you a
confirmation, it will at least let you know when the
letter has arrived. Calling child support workers or
trying to get in touch with “Friend of the Court”
staff is as impossible as willing the “mega millions
lottery.” Parent must continue to write or, drop off
letters to their workers/judges, and get the name of the
person you leave the letter with, along with a phone
number, This is great advice for any situation, if you
think someone is giving you a bogus phone number, use your
cell phone or a pay phone and call the number before you
leave the location. If the number is not valid go back,
ask to speak to a supervisor and let them know; and take
the information to court with you so it can become part of
the court record. If you truly have a problem getting
child support issues addressed, write your legislators and
your governor, weekly if needed. The squeaky wheel get the
oil, and nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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About
The Author
Detra
D. Davis is a Consultant, and technical
writer with over 20 years of experience.
She writes technical and operational
manuals, and works as Parent Educator
teaching workshops on the importance of
establishing paternity and paying child
support. Detra may be reached at
313-446-0896, at www.supportingourchildren.com
or by mail at J. Davis & Associates
Publishing, P. O. Box 44782, Detroit, MI
48244-0782, Attention: Detra D. Davis. |
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